As I was busily driving around today in the GTR Mazdarati I started to think about a discussion that Cris and I had today. There was a bit of a disagreement which I thought we had resolved and yet something was niggling at me from the back of my bean. Normally I would shelve this as some kind of mental warfare to derail what had been a good day and a seemingly good resolution to a minor crisis, but I have been allowing these things to ramble of late and see what God may be saying in it all. This time He showed me that even in my best intentions I had allowed the blinders to be slipped over my peepers and had acted in a self preserving manner. The issue that we discussed was not what was important, the fact that I put myself first and proceeded with a self justifying mindset is what was important. It blinded me to what was pivotal for my wife.
At this point it is important that I rabbit trail back a few years to a question that I posed to God. It was all about the meaning of holiness. For years I had heard and read about this word, but had little or no real understanding of what it meant in practical terms which made adhereing to 1 Peter 1:16 difficult. After a while it dawned on me that I could actually go to the source and ask God what this word meant (duh). He replied that holiness is the complete, undivided, unwavering and unending devotion to the object of your love. This blew me away on so many levels. The particular level I need to address here, though , is my wife.
What I realised is that I had not approached the whole incident from the standpoint of holiness, not to God (whose laws state I am to love others as myself not after myself), nor to my wife (whom I am to love as Christ loved the church). I had to call her back with this renewed perspective and apologise for not seeing what was important to her and actually acting like it was important. It went well.
I thank God that He is slowly softening my hard bean and dropping in some jewels in the process. I also thank Him for a wife that sees this and is patient. She's solid gold that woman.