Friday, March 12, 2004

Well I hope it looks good

Yep, it better look good because being in a censored country has its drawbacks. I can post a blog, but I cannot view it. It is really quite strange after being here for awhile because when you get around the city a bit you realise just how 'uncommunist' it is. There is the same frothing at the mouth consumerism here as anywhere else on the planet and yet a blog may be viewed as subverisive in some way. It is probably a bit of a security blanket or placebo to give the sense of control when really all capitalist hell is breaking loose. When I walk the streets I still get the 'Look' from some people who refuse to crack a smile for a rich foreigner. At first it bothered me, because as we all (or at least some) know rich foreigner is not a term that easily attaches itself. In Canada we were struggling just to have $100 spare bucks in a month to buy a few extras and were living in subsidised housing. With this new job we are finally getting somewhere financially, but the overnight gain feels absurdly awkward most times. So now when these people look at me with the disdain that says I am the cause of the collapse of their glorious system, I respond inside that no, I am not the cause. The cancer is in the human soul, whether capitalist or communist. It is all shit and the human soul will feed on it to its manifest duress. Wherever you find a human, you find a soul capable of the most gruesome acts of cannibalism, whether spiritual or physical. We are never immune to the constant pull. We are dragged away by our own stuff. The only cure is to get near a force greater than our own lust and be dragged away by its gravity. Perhaps I should say His gravity.

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