This Body we remember

I am not sure who all has been to our fotopage and happens to be reading this, but for those in the know we found a church here in Shanghai and it is a big deal for us. It can be difficult, as I have said before, to realise that we are in a communist country right now, and that only a short (by Canadian standards) journey away they are arresting our brothers and sisters and placing them in prison. Some of that fell away though when we went to church this Sunday. The service we went to was for foreign passport holders only and as we approached the gates to go into the church compound there were two policemen just a few meters down the road idly watching the people going in. I have no doubt that they will have in mind certain people who should not be going in. When we entered the sanctuary there was a heavy presence of the Spirit there. For all the charismatics out there I will clarify that there were no outward manifestations of His presence, but just a brooding joy and soveriegn sanctity. I wept. The sweetness came in the flood of realisations about what we were joining. There are people attending from all over the globe; Europe, Africa, North America, Australia, & Asia just from the introduction of the newcomers that Sunday. The Father's children were coming together in a sweet prophetic declaration to the spirit residing over this country, reminding him that from every tongue and tribe and nation God will gather a people unto Himself. There are also people from all different denominations there. We are there because of our need. Here we gather not because of some familiar format, but rather because we are in need. No one we talked to asked what church we are from and I cannot tell you how sweet that was. Again there is a prophetic declaration here for all who will hear it. The last thing I will say is that I really could not have cared less about the format. The chidren of God were gathering and I was there! Friends, we really need to get over ourselves and all this BS about churches, formats, styles and the endless tripe we puff ourselves up over. Like the song we sang that morning says," God loves people more than anything!!!" Maybe we should too.
During the nap I had before the service which started at 4pm I had a dream of having communion and thought perhaps it was a prophetic insight into what was awaiting us. When we didn't actually break bread I was going to dismiss it, but God said not to. Even before I could inquire why I shouldn't He said that this gathering of His body was communion. We shared the elements as we recieved the knowledge of our need. We remembered the breaking of the bread in the joy of the body of unity it won for us. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!!! This is the great rallying cry. There is no blog big enough to contain all His praise when even all the heavens are merely His signature.

Wherever you go....there I AM

Usually we say that wherever you go there you are, but I realise that God says wherever you go there I AM. Sometimes it can be a little awkward though. Times when I am trying to hide from Him, for example, make His never leaving ways somewhat of a hinderance. This is not to say that I fault Him for it, rather I am glad for it because I know it is my flesh that drags me away and my spirit which yearns to return. I see it in my kids all the time. They will go ape and do things they full well know they shouldn't. When they hear my footsteps approach all the air that was rushing out of their lungs in joyous abandon is sucked right back in and they know the gig is up. At this point I am the last person they want to see and my eye is the last place they want to look. Yet after the discipline is done it is into my arms that they fall to be comforted. It is the gleam in my eye they search for that says they are the center of my attention. I cannot say that I understand this paradox, but I do know it to be true.
I am finding in this season of personal turmoil that Dad is speaking to me about being my Dad. The frustrating thing is that I do not know what this looks like. Mostly I stare out of my little cave at Him and pretend that everything is okay. This fear manifests in so many different ways that it would be impossible to catalog it, and any effort would just be a distraction from the real anyway. I do notice, though, that it is insecurity and fear that drives me away from people and ultimately from Dad. I have discovered that the abundant life He promised me is in other people. 'Huh' you say? That is right. The abundant life is in my kids and my wife and it pours over me when I serve and love them. It is in the people on the street when I smile at them rather than give them that same 'No, I won't look at you!' ignorant, eyes forward, indifference. It is in the people at work when I respect their opinions and ideas, cheer their triumphs as well as remember the small personal sadnesses they may feel safe to share. It is in living in this place that I find life. Yet the unfamiliarity of it all, and the sudden new situation that confronts me can shock me back into my cave. I find that this usually occurs when I feel the possibility of rejection. So then I come full circle and look into the eyes of the One who never leaves.
I hope this time I will have the courage to cry.

Well I hope it looks good

Yep, it better look good because being in a censored country has its drawbacks. I can post a blog, but I cannot view it. It is really quite strange after being here for awhile because when you get around the city a bit you realise just how 'uncommunist' it is. There is the same frothing at the mouth consumerism here as anywhere else on the planet and yet a blog may be viewed as subverisive in some way. It is probably a bit of a security blanket or placebo to give the sense of control when really all capitalist hell is breaking loose. When I walk the streets I still get the 'Look' from some people who refuse to crack a smile for a rich foreigner. At first it bothered me, because as we all (or at least some) know rich foreigner is not a term that easily attaches itself. In Canada we were struggling just to have $100 spare bucks in a month to buy a few extras and were living in subsidised housing. With this new job we are finally getting somewhere financially, but the overnight gain feels absurdly awkward most times. So now when these people look at me with the disdain that says I am the cause of the collapse of their glorious system, I respond inside that no, I am not the cause. The cancer is in the human soul, whether capitalist or communist. It is all shit and the human soul will feed on it to its manifest duress. Wherever you find a human, you find a soul capable of the most gruesome acts of cannibalism, whether spiritual or physical. We are never immune to the constant pull. We are dragged away by our own stuff. The only cure is to get near a force greater than our own lust and be dragged away by its gravity. Perhaps I should say His gravity.

Been a long time

Yes, I am still alive and well in China. Every day is something new, and every night is a story time. I cannot say how wonderful this is and how much it has invigorated my faith. When I surf through Christian websites and church stuff (which actually is very rarely these days) I have to chuckle at what I see. It may seem rude, but for the most part the ambiance of these sites gives me a pucker in the posterior. The kind of feeling I get when I don't drink enough water and eat the wrong foods. The trip to the bathroom just isn't the relief it should be and neither are the things I see and read out there. I gotta say that it is so refreshing to get away from all the Churchanese garbage. Now when I say all, I mean all. It has been cool to see some people getting it (Go Pedersons!), but I pray every day for more of us westerners to get 'it'.
I had the privilege the other day to meet with a brother from the homeland the other day who was here on business (He is actually the guy God used to hook us up with this job) and as we talked I realised even more the truth God has been teaching us. We need to drop all the bullshit about who is right and who is wrong and get down to love. Those of us who have been in the camp of those who see the profound emptiness of the Sunday morning ritual and speak of the need for something that really feeds have been all too happy to walk away from the 'herd' in our quest for 'higher truth'. The truth is that we left the Higher Truth when we walked away from the herd. Thankfully the Truth gathers us unto Himself even when He scatters us abroad. Have we truly learned of love?? Have we truly learned from the One who died for the Pharisees. It intrigues me to think that it was a Pharisee and a disciple who took Jesus from the cross and cared for His body not any of the twelve. Hmmm, a Pharisee and a disciple. I believe this is the profound effect of the Truth, it binds across all barriers and unites us in Him. Any other 'truth' is a sadly deformed copy of The Truth. Any truth which leads me away from a brother or sister has already exposed itself by its fruit. His love is found in those who are not like us, whoever us is and whoever those are. I found a profound sadness in what my wife read in a book called 'The Heavenly Man" about Brother Yun of the underground church in China. He said that when the western churches were just sending bibles it was a tremendous blessing, but after awhile some doctrinal broshures began to creep into the shipments, meant for the good of those recieving it of course, and then the theological books began to arrive as well. Since these bibles were not all coming from one church nor were the other 'resources'. The effect was revealing to say the least. Within a short span of time the church leaders began to separate themselves from each other as the doctrinal divisions bore their inevitable fruit. Only the saving grace of our Lord brought them to their senses. You see, these people have had to rely on one another for their lives for so long that all this other shit just couldn't live itself out without being exposed. Division is death, period.
The effect that this time in China is having on us is that we desire to fellowship. You will notice that there is a period after fellowship. We want to be with all who call on the name of the Lord. I couldn't give a rip if they sit the men on one side and the women on the other, or if the raise their hands, or if they only meet in really cool places and do really non-churchy things. I really don't care. What I have realised is that whoever calls on the name of the Lord has the Spirit of the Living God living in them and I must do my utmost to honor His presence there even if the vessel looks like shit to me. Truth is that if He is there then the problem is not with the vessel He is in, the problem is with my eyes. So to whoever reads this I say honestly in Christ that I would love to sit with you and share a meal, and you can pick the place. And to whoever reads this and says no, I will eat with you at the marriage supper soon, either way I still look forward to it.

Where do we go from here?

It would seem, from reading my friend's site, that I am less regular than others at my blogging. I realise that was a painful sentence to read, but the lack of blogging has cramped my grammatical senses. The durations between these blogs are where my life has been fitting in and with recent events being what they are there has been room for little else. There has been room for overwhelming feelings. There has been room for larger than life changes. There has been room for loneliness without solitude. There has been room for little else.
Words usually don't fail me, and I can, with a modicum of aplomb, weasel my way through a conversation as well as the odd blog, but lately words have not been my friends. I don't know how to deal with the sense of imminent separation let alone form it with words. It would be nice to think that this will be just a holiday and then we will come back and all will be as it was, but this is a dream. I realised over the period of my first month in China that God has so connected this body of the Son that I am never truly alone and that even now there may be someone whom the Lord has roused from slumber in Malawi to pray for my family, but what do they look like? Would we know each other in a crowd? Would I know their laugh? Have I felt their tears? I miss brothers and sisters, and I will miss brothers and sisters. Till we're all home let's just love one another, okay?

The Fellowship Factor

It has been only a few days since I returned to the placid winter shores of Lake Okanagan from what has long been called the Whore of the Orient. Shanghai, I believe, deserves this title no more or less than anywhere else but that is what it has been called. During my stay there I discovered the profundity of aloneness. This was no mission trip with other salivating evangelicals eager to proselytize the unwashed masses, it was a work term to test the waters before bringing my tribe to live there. I had no contact with any other believers and other than the cheesy Christmas music so ironically blaring through the malls brimming with Chinese shoppers there was no hint of humanitiy's symbolistic efforts to reach Christ. No churches, no dusty religious section in the bookstore, no Hollywood limelighted gospel namedropping, no trappings whatsoever (unless you count the strangly figured fat man in red). From this particularly isolated vantage point I found that many of the residual misgivings I had about the overwrought organised church and its Sunday morning oddities were exposed to the elements and could no longer hold their form. I may have fought this at first with all the self-righteous fervor and zeal I could muster in the face of the gale, but to no avail. I thought perhaps it was just homesickness at best or a perverted sense of culture shock at worst, but this too blew away. When I descended from my isolated abode I bore within my hands a purer revelation than ever I had known before. In a tiny way I understand now how Paul could say that he yearned for the people of the churches with the bowels of Christ. I forget sometimes that these people too were organised in a fashion they could understand, they too had their odd little rituals that some of the crew thought to be too confining. They had all the shitty little quarrels and petty striving we know, and yet Paul yearned for them with the bowels of Christ. I have discovered that the thing of it is that he yearned for the people. The people. I yearned for the people. I found that all the other shit didn't matter. I found that even that worship guy who plays all the wrong music would have been a most welcome sight on the streets of Shanghai. The pastor who seems elevated and esteemed in his own eyes would have been most welcome at my table. I found that the people are all that I cared about. After all, this is where the Spirit of Christ resides.

A Little More Poetry

Hey, here I am still in Shanghai and the days are passing slowly in the drizzle. I can't tell if the clouds are low or the smog is thick, but there is a dreariness that surpasses even this Fraser Valley boy's experience. The cool thing is that the heart is still pumping the juice of life, and the brain is still recieving signals from Papa so my spirit is lifted.

The Streets of Psalm 23
There was a street
Whose memory was beat
'Neath the souls of mean feet
And 'twas no mean feat
To erase the hate in the heat
Burning beneath my feet
In eyes all 'round, indiscrete
Hard like broken concrete
Yet even here....I did eat!
(Brad Koop Jan 2004)

Shopping in Shanghai

Here it is, a new year and I am 1000's of miles from friends and family. They say that one of the languages of love is the giving of gifts so I am about to embark on another shopping trip downtown. The last time I was there was with my interpreter to buy a gift for a very good friend of mine. This time it will be an attempt to find something for my 2 1/2 year old boy. I was reminded a day or two ago of something that I had said to my wife as we discussed the imminent arrival of Christmas shopping. When I pondered upon the mayhem I came to the conclusion that part of the reason there is so much stress involved in Christmas shopping for so many of us is that the process forces us to really think about someone else. Unless we take the easy way out we will be faced with truly reflecting upon the person with good intent in our hearts. This is a process of getting out of ourselves and the tiny world of our own minds. This is a process of discovering another human being, and hopefully seeing them rather than seeing through them. This shopping trip is to be a time of reflecting on my son, and, I trust, becoming a little better dad.
If you are reading this Cris, I love you and please kiss the kids for me. I will see you soon. Brad-Daddy

Been Awhile!!

Yes, for any and all who have wandered over to this site it has been awile since I have entered anything, but as always I have a good reason. I am in freakin' China!!!! Shanghai to be exact, and Gubei New Area to be more precise. I have been here for a grand total of two weeks and I have two weeks left before I head home to bring the family here. Some may say that it is work that brought me here, for indeed I am working here, but we all know better don't we?? When we prayed about this decision (not exactly like choosing which pizza joint to go to), we heard a voice with a familiar capital 'p' paternal tone say," I am going to China, would you like to come along?" What followed was a stunned silence on our end while we picked ourselves up off the floor and convened to converse on this response. Since it is not easy to talk with your lower mandible scraping the lint off the carpet (easier done with a goatee) our conference made little linguistic sense and we knew it was simply a stalling tactic anyway. Long and short has me in a very new situation; very very new. For those who are taking a break from the sanitized Hollywood of Sunday morning I am sure you will have some grip on this.
Our collective Daddy instructed me to leave my handheld holy writ at home and test out the true mettle of my sword. One month being fed by ravens in a strange land. One month with only the mouth of the Father to speak to me. One month with not a believer in sight. One month.
He may be safe, but He will never be tame.
Oh yeah, by the way, Dad's trip to China is a business trip and it is not just with me. I wonder what it says on His visa.
Tsechen for now.

Why am I so surprised???

I am constantly surprised by my ability to forget things. You know what I mean, right? You look into a mirror, even a perfect mirror and then walk away and forget. When I look into this mirror I not only see myself the way I truly am, I also see the truth the way it truly is. I just spent some time in an old familiar place and was truly surprised that my faith was beginning to show some serious cracks. As much as I pondered over this dilemma I could find no answers (No, of course I didn't go back to the mirror, whadda ya think I am...smart!!??). It wasn't until I had left the place and driven for some time that I realized that there was a spiritual dominion that I had entered and in not addressing it as such I got the shit kicked out of me more everyday that was there. I am not sure what keeps me from remembering the fact that I do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but this is something that I really need to rectify. It has become more apparent that I need to be constantly aware of what is going on around me and address it accordingly. True, sometimes it may be as simple as offering someone some peace, but at other times I will need to stick it directly to Mephistopheles and his cronies. Of course being more than a conquerer I will kick butt, but until then I will live under the thumb of circumstances.
There is only one spirit that is Holy, but there is not only one spirit.